[Comic Review] Sex Criminals, Vol 1: One Weird Trick

Fry's Reviews, Reviews 0 Comments 6th December, 2014

[Comic Review] Sex Criminals, Vol 1: One Weird TrickSex Criminals, Volume 1: One Weird Trick by Chip Zdarsky, Matt Fraction
Published by Image Comics on April 29th, 2014
Genres: Erotica, Graphic Novel, Science Fiction
Pages: 128
Source: Purchase
Suzie’s just a regular gal with an irregular gift: when she has sex, she stops time. One day she meets Jon and it turns out he has the same ability. And sooner or later they get around to using their gifts to do what we’d ALL do: rob a couple banks. A bawdy and brazen sex comedy for comics begins here!

By Matt Fraction (Satellite Sam, Hawkeye) and Chip Zdarsky (Prison Funnies, Monster Cops).

Named one of Time Magazine's top 10 graphic novels for 2013.

Volume 1: Suzie Down In the Quiet

I didn’t expect this to be so literal? I don’t know what I was expecting. I came for the lulz and the porn and got a sad story about a dead dad and body discovery? At least it got to the point in the end. More criminal sprees, less tragic back story.

Volume 2: Come, World

Okay, so, Suzie found someone who can also stop time once they orgasm. She asks him how he found out and a bunch of other questions about his life. In the future, they appear to still be robbing the bank and now there’s some glowing white suited bastards after them? That part of the story has all escalated far quicker than I would have liked.

Anyway, they Tarintino back to Jon telling Suzie the story of how he learned he could stop time with his orgasms and the stories themselves are all very cliche. I found myself going, “White boys, am I right?” He may have hilariously stumbled about a sex shop and learned the ins and outs of his power, but while Suzie calls the space between time The Quiet, Jon calls it Cumworld. See what I mean?

Volume 3: My Sexual Errors and Misfortunes 2001- Present

Jon got hit in the face with a dildo a few times, though I feel like the one dildo is not so much a dildo as a representation of a dildo and this secret power? I dunno. What I’m going to dub as the “bad guys” are super confusing and they hit and they’re just mean. Why are they so mean? How did they find them?

Not much happens in the bank this time, though we do have some time in the past, listening to Jon’s lost virginity, and also his copious sex partners. He was just trying to find more people who could stop time, I guess. Anyway, he and Suzie finally part ways after fifty five hours and eventally get back together after work. They seem to be officially dating now, he takes her to his favorite porno shop and they magic power ransack the place.Then they decide to rob the bank together and Suzie sings a rendition of Fat Bottomed Girls that is covered in Author’s Notes.

Volume 4: Sex Police

What am I even reading? This just keeps spiraling down into weirdness. Anyway, this comic unites the flashbacks with the present. So, we’ve got Jon and Suzie doing the do outside of smaller banks and stealing just a little bit of cash in order to save up some money to save her library. All the while Suzie’s roommate is feeling both left out, jealous and now suspicious.

They’ve also got a dispatcher on their tail? The woman is checking out the scenes of their destruction and always one step behind, but the roommate went and screwed that up by calling the police about suspicious activity. And so, it all comes to a head at the bank, where Suzie and Jon get tazed (how do tazers work in the quiet, if time is stopped and cars don’t go?) and that’s the end of that issue.

There’s also a bit inbetween about how Suzie helped out her roommate back in college by going into the quiet and framing a boy for drug possession who had raped her roommate earlier? I guess that’s to establish that they’ve always got each other’s backs? I’m not entirely sure. The story itself seemed out of place.

Volume 5: Going Down

(Yelling timber?) Okay, so I lied, the last one didn’t quite pull everything together. This was more in depth, with the calling and the attack and the escaping. Our bad guy is a woman who can orgasm on command (kegals!) or something? Anyway, the thing leaves off with our heroes running away from the sex police and the regular police. It’s such a weird comic.

I’m not even sure how I feel about it. I’m still mostly middle of the road. It didn’t wow me. I wasn’t ever one to watch Clerks multiple times to listen to people talk about sex forever. It’s just not my thing, I guess. It was a fun read, but unless it somehow becomes groundbreaking, I’m not sure I really want to read any more? Meh.


Written by Fry


Probably in a dungeon somewhere. Game Master for the D’n’D actual play podcast Roll For Wenches .

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